untitled

She cuts her soles on glass paved highways
shards cut into her like he did
SHE is the definition of rage
behind dark matted hair
her coal black eyes remember
fists hit flesh
body mangled like the twisted steel of a car wreck
his dick was his weapon of choice
until she got tired
and cock blasted his cock back
and now barefoot and bleeding she walks this glass paved highway...

love like poetry

I want a love like poetry
a complex simplicity
i want to get drunk off his words
just so that i can regurgitate them back into his lap
i want every sylliable he speaks to penetrate me
just so that i can know what love really feels like
i want my lips to take him on journeys
and want him to kiss my so deeply
that i can feel his heartbeat on my lips
a love filled with pure passion
i want his hands to grip my thighs
like rubber soles grip concrete
fingernails dig deep into my flesh
tearing off my outter layer
desprate to get to whats inside
the candy in the pinata
mi corazon, my heart the prize
i want to be present in his tomorrows
and live for his todays
i want to get lost in his thoughts only to be found in his dreams
he would take me places my fingers colud'nt
make my eyes roll so far back i can see my own thouhgts
he would fuck me with his inked tipped tounge until i gave birth to love
we would feed it on a stedy diet of strengh and hope
and when love cried out...

Bare

So i lay here
wrists slit and naked for all to see
does my bareness offend you?
does the sight of blood make you sick?
i apologize
for this is who i am and i can only be me
bare and broken but unashamed
and as i lay here
blood pouring from my wrists
trickeling down my fingers
dropping onto my abdomen
i am at peace
bleeding and bare i am at peace
there is no white light
i do not see God
only you
i am alive
and as you take my blood stained hand i realize that we are both bleeding
I from my wrist you from your heart
we are both bare
the world turns but we are at rest
you grab my lifeless limbs
kiss my slit wrists and wait
my pulse gets weaker but my body feels no loss
i surrender

The bad feeling...

Sometimes i find it hard to breath
this anxiety is stifiling
bad dreams and old memeries haunt me
i can feel the filth on my skin
the touches that wont wash away
i feel dirty
why did they do this to me
i was only a child
i was asleep
awoken by a shake
you told me to move over
i complied
what happened next
i try to forget
but theses images keep haunting me
for hours and years after i've tried to
wash you from my skin
but its no use
im tainted
and to this day i weep
im guarded
i can't, won't let anyone get close
in fear of being used
do you see the pain you've caused
have you felt my tear stained sheets
felt my damp pillows
did you hear my silent screams
no
beacause shhhhhh you siad dont tell anyone
you made me feel guilty
but i have done nothing
but cover this up
try to keep breathing
and fight through my anxiety

The bad feeling...

Sometimes i find it hard to breath
this anxiety is stifiling
bad dreams and old memeries haunt me
i can feel the filth on my skin
the touches that wont wash away
i feel dirty
why did they do this to me
i was only a child
i was asleep
awoken by a shake
you told me to move over
i complied
what happened next
i try to forget
but theses images keep haunting me
for hours and years after i've tried to
wash you from my skin
but its no use
im tainted
and to this day i weep
im guarded
i can't, won't let anyone get close
in fear of being used
do you see the pain you've caused
have you felt my tear stained sheets
felt my damp pillows
did you hear my silent screams
no
beacause shhhhhh you siad dont tell anyone
you made me feel guilty
but i have done nothing
but cover this up
try to keep breathing
and fight through my anxiety

...

I left something at your house
my dignity
it wasnt taken but given willingly
i think i left it at the foot of your bed
or maybe on your lips a trace may still linger
so easy it was to give into your charms
ha! and all along i thought i was stronger
as strong as the hard steel blade i carry with me
I
have
failed
I became vunerable
and i your arms i found solace
and within your lips I found approval
like morphine they left me numb
and like cocaine they got me addicted
but i dont want another addiction
or another friend
just my luck seems like i've done it again
teasing my self with things i cant touch
sometimes it think i do too much

There aint no way around it
You gotta keep pressin on
You keep gettin rejected
You just gotta run into it head on and pray you dont get hurt
Pray that everything gonna b alrite
Back up and run
Start off as a jog
Turn into a run
Floor it
Straight into the wall
Breathin hard
Fast or slow
Gaspin for breath
Dont feel like you can make it anymore
But u keeping goin for it
Keep runnin
Sweatin and nervous
Feelin like nuthins gonna change
But your almost there
you cant turn back now
BAM you hit the wall
You come out on the other side a little battered and bruised
But in the end your alrite
You made it thorough lifes brick wall

message to a backwards thinker

OK FIRST OFF I WANT TO SAY THEIR IS NO SUCH THING AS WHITE PEOPLE MUSIC AND BLACK MUSIC..MUSIC KNOWS NO RACE OR COLOR NOR DOES IT HAVE ONE SO HOW CAN SOME SAY THAT WHITE PEOPLE "STOLE" ROCK AND ROLL? MUSIC IS FOR EVERYONE NOONE HAS THE RIGHT TO LISTEN TO OR MAKE A CERTAIN KIND OF MUSIC!! AND SINCE YOU FEEL THAT WAY AND SINCE I LISTEN TO ROCK WOULDNT I BE LISTINING 2 BLACK PEOPLE MUSIC NEWAY?? AND JUST BEACAUSE I LISTEN TO A CERTIAN KIND OF MUSIC DOSENT MEAN IM ANY LESS BLACK!! WHEN I WALK INTO A STORE I STILL GET FOLLOWED AROUND..IF IM WALKING WITH A GROUP OF WHITE POEPLE IM ALWAYS THE ONE THATS WATCHED AND QUESTIOND BY THE COPS..MY SKIN COLOR AND EXPERIANCES HAVENT CHANGED SO HOW CAN YOU CALL ME ANY LESS BLACK THAN YOU??JUST BEACUSE I SPEAK PROPERLY AND LISTEN TO ROCK YOU CALL ME A WHITE GIRL?? BUT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO SAY WHAT WHITE AND BLACL IS?? YOU CAN YOURSELF A CHRISTIAN BUT YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE I KNOW!!! SINCE YOUR SUCK A FUCKING CHRISTIAN YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT ITS UNGODLY TO JUDGE AND BE BOASTFUL AND PRIDEFUL....YOU NEED TO RE-EVALUATE WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE AND TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT WHO YOU REALLY ARE

short...idk whatev

IM QUIETLY GOING CRAZY IN THIS CONFINE OF CONTEMPT
THE MORE AND MORE I TRY I CANT SEEM TO HELP MYSELF
SLOWLY DIENG NOT IN BODY BUT IN MIND
I FEEL A PRESENCE PULLING ME DOWN ITS AS IF GOOD AND EVIL HAVE INTERTWINED
THE PRESENCE HAS NO BODY NO FACE OR FEELING
BUT I AM WHAT ITS AFTER I CANT SEEM TO SHAKE THE FEELING
THE HAIR STANDS UP IN THE BACK OF MY NECK AS I SUDDENLY BECOME AWARE OF ITS ICY COLD BREATH
THE FEELING WAS COLD BUT IT DIDNT FREEZE MY PHYSICAL BUT MY SOUL!
IT WAS AS IF TIME STOPPED AND MY BREATH AND MY LUNGS COLLASPED
I WANTED THIS NIGHTMARE TO END I WANTED OUT!
MY EYES FLEW OPEN AND I LOOKED AROUND I WAS BACK IN MY BED SAFE AND SOUND
I CANT SEEM TO SHAKE THESES FEELINGS AND DREAMS THAT HINDER ME
IM A PRISONER IN MY OWN MIND WAITING TO BE SET FREE

i think i do..

I love you ,I love you not
round and round goes this continuous thought
Is it the fear to feel that's holding be back
or is it the ability to trust and love that I lack
my heart says I LOVE YOU
but my mind says uhhhh I think I do
I can't seem to figure out what's keeping me
from giving my whole heart to you
DAMN ,IT'S A SHAME IM SCARED OF YOU!!!
Im scared to let you love me in fear of you letting me go
Like other lost loves you've told me of
Im not up for feeling the heartache that comes
from losing your first love
So, am I willing to give up love
because of fear that I'll lose it?
Or will I throw my inhibitions to the wind and give in?
I haven't felt for so long but your breaking down the walls
but im still fragile and timid
like a new born child my eyes are just now being open
open to possibilities I've never considered before
I mean who would love me? Im not special and pretty like the others
but still your here telling me what I've waited forever to hear
that you love me and you sound so sincere
but im still tryna guard my heart from what I feel
is an inevitable hurt